7:49 AM

Today I had a bad dream *literally. I woke  up with the shout of our helper saying “ Jo-Anne namatay si Sushi”. Even though I still feel groggy, I stood up and ran to my dog’s dead body.

 I can’t remember when was the last time na nakakita ako ng patay na katawan of someone na malapit saakin. I felt  my body shaking, my emotions were shut off, and  for a moment I felt numb, hindi ko alam yung dapat kong maramdaman and tears won’t stop falling from my eyes. I can't control it. I was shaking my dog's body telling “Sush hindi magandang biro to, gising na lampas 6 am na kakain ka pa”. But minutes have passed, Sushi is still not moving, no sign of him being alive. And there it goes again, the feeling ng “naiwanan” but this time hindi pumuntang abroad or sa malayong lugar, bigla akong nanlamig. It won't sync in that my dog died. It felt like I’m still in a bad dream, baka naman hindi pa ko nagigising sa bad dream ko? I still can’t believe that my dog left me without notice, wala man lang sign na nanghihina or may sakit sya, mabibigla ka nalang pag gising mo wala na sya. My friend and I were still talking about my dog yesterday then today I woke up na ganun.

Ate B was already putting Sushi in a sack, hindi ko alam gagawin ko, parang gusto kong humagulgol. I kept on telling on my mind “gising na Sush, gising na please”.


Sush was my dream dog.
I've been praying for a Golden retriever even before my first dog (Percy the pomeranian) came.
I can't explain how happy I am when I got Sushi.
Sushi was an answered prayer.


I was in my room, staring at the ceiling, crying. I went down to get some water cause I felt dehydrated, then my uncle said “mafefeel mo talagang wala na si Sushi ang tahimik na kasi”, then memories came flashing down my mind, the day na una ko syang pinick up from the seller, yung pangkukulit nya, yung pangdadamba nya sakin pag lalabas ako, yung pag lalakad namin every night whenever no one can come with me especially my baby bro is not there, yung pagsilip nya from the garage kapag I’m in the sala. I went to my room and continued crying.

I really can’t believe it ( I know I already mention it a lot of times pero ang sakit sakit talaga. I feel like I’ve been stabbed in the heart ten times). What hurts the most is yung wala man lang akong nagawa para maprevent yung pagkamatay nya, hindi ko man lang sya nadala sa vet or nakausap at nakayap sa huli nyang hininga, pagkagising mo ang sasalubong sayo yung malamig nyang katawan.

I still went to school today even though I feel like staying in bed and grieve the death of my dog. Kahit ayoko, kailangan eh, kailangan ituloy ang buhay.

Sushi was not just my dog

I don’t know how and when will I move on to my Sushi’s death but I know for sure Sushi is in better hands now. I will never forget you Sushi, thank you for the 8  months, thank you for accompanying me during my lowest point and thank you for being my best friend. 

Rest in peace baby Sush, mommy Celest loves you.

This is the first time that I posted an emotional blogpost, I just need to vent out the pain of losing a pet dog. To the other dog owners who can read this post I hope you take good care of your dogs, you will never know kung kailan sila mawawala. Enjoy the moments that you spend with them, they're like humans too, they can be your best friend. They might not understand what you're saying but for sure they know how you feel, they will protect you to in anyway they can and they will be loyal to you and love you unconditionally.

For now I am not ok but soon I will be. 
I should be ok
I have to be ok....
for Sushi

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